balanced instability

fears sprung out like water from a spring
is this who i am? am i where i need to be?
cried out to the father
'listen!'
so i listened
'speak!'
he stayed silent

tears poured out like bad milk from a jug
w?rought wit?h confu?sion, my vision unclear
direction i lack
options too vast
closure finding fast

...i can't make up my mind
wanting the earth to listen
and the heavens to speak
--------------------------
i am unsettled in my approach
listening to the earth
and speaking to the heavens

ahem.
honesty:
my last resort
a zone out of comfort
yet in being to others,
i can not be to myself
or gain understanding in who i am at the same time
irony?

a committed wreck/i can not commit
an impoverished soul/i can not impoverish
an ignored friend/i will not ignore
misunderstood/i will understand

so in existing out of love
in patience, i will love
kindness, i will love
goodness, i will love
faithfulness, i will love
gentleness, i will love
self control, i will love

Christ, be my love
ask
seek
knock

until i hear the heavens speak
and receive the silence of the earth
and understand
who he is
and find
myself
in his arms

and my strength, restored