the weekend

So I went to the Break Forth conference in Edmonton this past weekend. My o­nly intention of going was to take notes in the electives my mom had chosen for herself as she was swamped with work and I went in her place. The drive up was a long o­ne in multitudes of fog, but a good drive with a good friend nonetheless. We finally arrived around 7 for registration. I met up with a group of college & career from my church and got ready to come away from the weekend with nothing more than a couple pages of notes about nothing I hadn't heard before... Inevitably, God had other plans.

Dr. Joyce Meyer, the speaker o­n friday night, began her schpeel with a bang, and then about halfway through her talk brought up something I had long struggled with but never really thought about. How often in conversation do you hear people trying to get their own opinion across? How often do I sit o­n the edge of my seat, wanting so badly to express my point of view? I think.... I want.... I feel... No need for a newsflash, I'm sure everyone has felt this way atleast o­nce, including myself. And I'm sure many of us have heard that Christ calls us to be selfless and humble and sacrificial, even when it comes to expressing our opinions at the opportune moments. This brought the first “hmmm, that’s interesting” of many throughout the weekend. Put others before myself? Heaven forbid they might assume I actually agree with them if I stay silent! Yet I am convinced. Christ is love and He is our message. How can we defend Him if we are too busy defending ourselves?

So that was friday night. Saturday began with a quick trip to Staples to get a notebook, and then I went to my first elective o­n the use of jazz within worship. As a casual pianist who often plays keys at my church, it was awesome to gain more ideas o­n creativity that I could bring to our evening services as well as to my personal playing. Elective numbers two and three related to songwriting and vocal techniques, but I didn’t find them as exciting or informative as the first. Luckily for me I got hand outs in all three classes so I didn’t need to worry about taking too many notes :)

Saturday evening hit me like a wave, and I suddenly found myself exhausted right as the main assembly began. Enjoying it listlessly, I sat through the first half of worship led by Paul Baloche, and even drifted off a few times. Then Open the Eyes of My Heart began and I shot up in a burst of energy. At almost the same speed, hesitation caught up with me. Let me explain. Baptists are good at many things. They are especially good at not dancing. I grew up in the same church I attend now, and the physically charismatic scale has rarely reached the intensity that I often feel drawn to express myself by. I’ve often felt held back, limited by my fear of others and “oh my goodness what would they think if I started clapping?” Thankfully o­ne of the things I had been learning up until that point was that worship is about God. Just God. Not the person next to us, not the congregation we are leading, and definitely not about the music or words. So with that, I threw aside the hesitation and worshipped God. At o­ne point I was the o­nly o­ne standing in our section. But I didn’t care. I’d reached a new depth in worship for me and just being in the presence of God made it very comfortable. Good times.

I don’t suppose anyone has heard of Dr. K.P. Yohannan. If you haven’t go to www.gfa.org/gfa/aboutkp and learn about him. Read his stuff. Honestly o­ne of the best speakers I’ve ever sat in front of. He spoke for over an hour between worship sets and held everyone’s attention like a hostage at gunpoint. And his message was just as subtle. He gave us many personal accounts of what God has been doing in Asia, and how far Christians there are going to serve Christ even under the threats of persecution, torture and death. He then challenged our nation almost offensively, saying that we are the laziest Christians the world has ever seen. I can’t help but agree with him. Yohannan dared us to go deeper with God and search beyond life here o­n earth. To live is Christ and to die is gain. I certainly felt challenged. It wasn’t an intended guilt trip, but merely an encouragement in prodding us to do something about the souls around us that lay within reach of the Kingdom. This easily connects with something Philip Yancey said at the service yesterday morning, comparing life o­n earth to that of eternity’s Kingdom. Paraphrased, “Reach for the life to come, and you’ll get the earth along with it. Reach just for life o­n the earth, and you’ll get neither.”

So as you can see, the weekend proved to be so much more than I initially expected it would be. Wow. I got a lot more than just a few notes I was meaning to pass o­nto my mom. Man. God is amazing guys—humbly let Him lead you. Get to know Him. Seek Him in conversations. Cling to Him. Love Him. Do this because He is a real and very presently moving Father. Don’t become blinded by mere tradition or religiously christian habits. A Christian life doesn’t have to be square, so don’t put God in a box.